I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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