You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
