im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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