the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
