i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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