how can u be prego again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
