I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
