Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
