Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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