my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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