Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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