Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Randomize
