i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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