i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
