U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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