need another drink. this is the easiest way
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
