Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize