i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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