I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
