I'm jealous of your bromance
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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