SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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