Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I want to have your abortion
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
