STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize