I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
