You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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