Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
