I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Shame - the story of my life.
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