we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
