My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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