I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
