Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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