just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
