My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
