I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
