There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
