so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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