I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
