You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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