thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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