i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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