you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
