omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
