I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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