So drunk its hurt
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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