when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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