life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize