Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize