Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
