hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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