it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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