It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
