im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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