Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
