So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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