im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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