you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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