you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
